A PARENTS’ TRIBUTE TO DIWATA” (DONNA KAREN ) ON HER MARRIAGE TO TRI NGUYEN ON AUGUST 25, 2006
By
Ernie and Benita Delfin
This “assignment” from my publisher-friend,
Sim Silverio, to write an article about our only daughter, Donna
Karen, endearingly called
“Diwata” (fairy) by our
family on her wedding day is forcing me
to think which areas and experiences
should I write in l000 words or less. With so many anecdotes and happy memories
that we as a family have accumulated really make it most difficult to even start. But as that musical The Sound of Music
admonishes “to begin is to begin” and here it is, with lots of nostalgia that makes the father
of the bride very happy, proud and excited as her wedding day is just
a few days away!
Working in my “farmyard”
everyday, I am often reminded of the
wisdom of Qoheleth (probably aka King
Solomon) in the short book of
Ecclesiastes that says among other things “that there an appointed time for
everything, and a time for every affair
under the heavens. A time to be born, and a
time to die; a time to plant, and
a time to uproot the plant….. a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of
war, and a time of peace.” The Holy
Book also says that a woman leaves her father and mother and joins her husband
and the two bodies become one. Being
born, reared by loving parents, going to school, working, enjoying life in a
community of believers, giving back to
the community, getting married and then
giving birth is the natural cycle of life as
beautifully created by an Awesome Power, called God, Allah or Jehovah.
This special wedding day of our
only daughter to a very fine young man
Tri Nguyen whom she met about 10 years ago in the University of Denver
Our family is a great family (consisting of “Diwata” also known as Donna Karen and
“Eboy” also known as EJ or Ernest Jr., a Batanguena mother (and all the adjectives
that often go with that“balisong” province south of Manila) and a highly opinionated and fiercely
independent Ilocano father (who defies
the Ilocano traits of a spendthrift
(“kuripot”) I could ever dream of. It is
not a perfect family but it is the best one we will ever have. Raising children is likened to farming as you can never be
sure what kind of harvest you gonna get.
The process is a daily undertaking that has lots of twists and turns, sometimes very scary but
excitingly rewarding too. I thought I have influenced my children greatly
but no, they all became Democrats! (now I am afraid that as I
gradually reach the sunset of my life, soon
I might also become a democrat if the leaders of my Republican Party continue what they are doing for the country and the
world in the name of a“war against terrorism” in their paranoia against WMD’s).
But that is another controversial story, and so, let me not digress any further.
Going back to Donna and Tri on their wedding day.
Donna came into our lives over a
quarter century ago and her arrival dramatically changed our somewhat hedonistic way of life. Although we never enrolled in the University
for Parenthood, we learned everyday and
we got a bachelors degree rearing Donna. With EJ’s
coming 10 years after Donna’s birth, we were forced to take our Graduate
Degree rearing him the best we can. Fast forward to 2006, we now see these two sweet fruits
that have fallen not far from the
tree.
Donna’s early experiences in school where she was the
only Filipino girl in a Christian school in Fountain Valley ,
Southern California was at times very scary for an Ilocano father
and a Batanguena mother. Let me share
with you just one story why.
Although she did excellently in school, one day, she told me with a
very sad and serious face that “she does not want to go to
school any more because her classmates always teased by
calling her “Little Shrimp” continuously
till it hurts her so much until she cries many times in a month. Thanks God, we have had very beautiful experiences
as a family that one witty come-back-response
that I serendipitously thought of that Donna used effectively was “It’s perfectly OK if I am just a little shrimp but I am the most
expensive shrimp” that she said repeatedly
with real confidence. (The background
story was that summer before that school year, Donna and her parents (EJ was not born then)
were in an Acapulco resort and we were in the swimming pool and we were having
shrimp cocktails and drinks and we had to pay thousands of Mexican pesos for such a small order of shrimp cocktails and that pleasant and happy memories as a family
was etched in her young mind. To fortify
that “expensive shrimp defense” I
told my little shrimp, errrrr
precious little girl to select 5 of her best friends to go
with her to a popular KID QUIZ live show in
CBS Channel 2 in Hollywood, where
the producer, Lorena Tong, was a friend.
And so with the permission of her friends’ parents I was the unpaid tour guide and driver
to this CBS Hollywood studio one Saturday afternoon. I believe it was one of the most memorable
trips of these young girls to be treated as
VIPs by no
less than the producer herself who also gave them
Kid Quiz shirts and studio memorabilia as souvenirs. These 5
classmates of Donna who were much
bigger shrimps in schools eventually became her “bodyguards” and
protected our most expensive “little shrimp” (actually a diamond) from the other school bullies! To this very day, Donna still remembers that
and makes her smile with those bitter-sweet
experiences of her young life! (Chances
are her own children will also learn from this story as it is now being printed
for posterity!)
* * * *
Donna, the eldest among all her
American born cousins Jim Rivera, Dexter
and Floyd Delfin (from Carson) Jasmine
and Justin Delfin (from San Marcos) and her only brother EJ, is very much respected, loved and protected
by them. Often the most petite in a
group of giants, she has earned the
respects of many not only among family members and friends but also in our church and community where she does many volunteer works.
At
work, she is a project manager at a
computer-website design company in Irvine ,
California
- - - - -
“Nonna” as I fondly call our
precious jewel named Donna is indeed a blessing to our family, not only as daughter but especially the “Big”
(in heart) Little sister to her brother EJ.
We are so glad that they are very close to one another. It is a very good feeling to know that in the event of our leaving this earth, they
have one another to genuinely care for
one another, and to top it all, EJ just gained another brother in the person of
Tri, whom everyone in the family calls “Cahoy” (meaning tree in the Filipino
language) who loves to banter with EJ, as the latter’s “Just Because” trick last April Fools Day. Tri is very young at heart
and he enjoys hanging out with EJ and his friends especially when Donna is out
of town on work assignment.
We feel especially blessed that our Donna found a lifetime partner in
Tri, to pamper and love her as a “baby”.
As the mother of the bride, I am sad yet happy on this wonderful change in her life. Sad because I feel I won’t have as much time
with her as I want to. But letting go of my only daughter, who will invest more
of her time to her husband, is the right thing to do as all daughters did after they get married. Tri has shown his love not only
to her but also to us, to me especially as I experienced quite recently. Without
anyone’s prodding he lovingly brought me an ice pack and medicinal
support for my injured left foot due a freak accident.
Nonna and I had been very close as friends in addition to our loving
relationship as a mother and daughter through thick and thin. She and I have spent
many hours shopping, wine-tasting, dining at different places together;
sometimes with the other men in the family, EJ, Tri and Ernie. As her mother, I became her life’s coach especially
in her career, particularly during those
times she felt frustrated, unhappy or stressed out at work . Despite her marriage, I pray that we can continue these treasured moments as mother and daughter. Nonna often acted as a surrogate mother in the past like the weeks I was out of the
country like the weeks I participated in a U.S. Citizen and CPA Ambassadorial Program of
People to People to Moscow , Ukraine and Estonia
and domestic work travels to New Orleans , Chicago , or Denver
Often we also went for a picnic
alone along the Pacific Ocean in Huntington
Beach
Like me, Nonna is also
very adventurous woman. Both of us had pleasant trips with some degree of scary
experiences in our adventures, like a tupsy turvy boat ride we took with our family to Puerto Galera in Mindoro
from Batangas City
and also our very first trip to Bohol Beach
Sundays are very special to the Delfin family
as we almost always go to church services at noon, and thereafter go to a
leisurely family lunch anywhere in Orange
County
Indeed, life is good!
God is an Awesome God who has
abundantly blessed us with a precious little daughter Nonna, a witty loving son EJ and now a wonderful son-in-law Tri whom every
one calls “Cahoy”.
We wish them the BEST and may
the Good Lord bless their own family, to give them good health long life and beautiful
children in HIS time!
---------- Sharing by the Mother
of the Bride
------ 3 0 ---
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