THE METAMORHOSIS
By
Ernie D. Delfin
A CHRISTMAS REFLECTION: THINGS
THAT MATTER MOST
(when one becomes a “senior”
citizen)
“ Life with a purpose is a life of
fulfillment….
I
value the freedom to serve more than the power to rule!”
Tony Meloto, GK Founder & Builder of Dreams
It’s
just 8 days before Christmas, and the “Simbang Gabi” has started and I
feel mixtures of human emotions as I am
all alone in a big 4-bedroom house, as my wife is still in the
Philippines (attending the funeral of her 94-year-old mother who passed away a
day before Thanksgiving) and my only son, EJ, now has his own apartment near Arcadia
High School where he teaches English, more than an hour away from home. For
more than a month this Christmastime,
I have plenty of time to do “nothing”
in solitude or do as many activities that I want like: reading, writing, volunteer or ministry work and APOStolic work, and above all
reflecting about my own life, its purpose and meaning.
Since the week before
Thanksgiving up to this moment as I write this Christmas column, I have a gamut of human experiences that were
never planned nor expected: from a witnessing a rare but very solemn Catholic baptism of a woman inmate in Orange
County jail on the Feast of Immaculate Conception, where about a dozen of her
fellow inmates were witnesses, and me serving as sacristan to the officiating priest;
to an uncommon power outage last week over
several blocks, that included the high
rise hotel that we were staying I the Union
Square in Downtown San Francisco, with my daughter’s family where I played the role of a male “nanny” for four days, to
going to the gym and Barnes & Noble bookstore oftener than usual as
the rains have taken over my work in our farmyard. It’s been an emotional roller-coaster
and physiological cul-de-sac going through another death in the family then Thanksgiving and now
Christmastime!
Attending the start of
the Simbang Gabi (“misa de gallo” or
mass of the rooster), brought back fifty plus years of memories and inspired my mind to write about life, its natural
cycle, and “What Matters Most” in my life.
With the theme of hope and
preparation that Advent brings to all Christians, I am writing this Christmas column to verbalize my thoughts centering on my own
TOP TEN things that matter most, at this
stage of my earthly life, with the Season’s hope that they will also prompt you,
the readers, to come up with your own
TOP TEN :
1. FAMILY: Somewhere in the
distant past, I read that “No success
can compensate the failure at home.”
More common expression that we hear often is “there is no place like
home.” These expressions, however, are just taken for granted
during one’s youth. But once a person reaches
his Medicare eligibility age, love and
family become more important and the
love for self decreases whereas the love for his family, especially his grandchildren, increases. Instinctively, as the person gets older, he longs more for his family and often creates
varied reasons or events, like birthdays
or anniversaries, just to get together to enjoy the company of family and
friends.
2. FRIENDS =
Like the family, true friends are
equally important as they motivate you to become a better person . True friends are
great assets that you do not have to buy
but nurtured. Friends that you admire can
become your inspiration to become like them.
A genuine friend is someone that can also say no to you, and but always be
there to help you overcome your own
human frailties to become a more useful and better human being. A great friendship is one that elevates each
other to reach your greatest potential,
like how Jesus made his apostles the best they can be --- from where they were
to where they have become.
3. FREEDOM: Like the birds in
the sky, senior citizens, like me, love
to be free as they are no longer obligated
to do the work that they used to do to make a living, either as an
employee or a business owner. To do or
not to do something during one’s
retirement becomes an option every
day. Even the activities of daily
living, including eating at a particular time or showering in the morning or
afternoon become priceless options once
you are retired.
4. FULFILLMENT = Before retirement, a person primarily works
for compensation (to be able to purchase
the material things he needs to survive or
just to show off that he can also afford some luxury) or simply to be recognized by
others. At 65, many people do things not only for money to have that feeling of fulfillment, the third side of that invisible
Recognition-Fulfillment-Compensation (RFC) triangle. Fulfillment is invisible
but felt deeply inside that makes the
person feel joy and contentment. It cannot be bought nor given by someone but
self-generated.
5. HEALTH = ‘Health is wealth’ becomes the retiree’s mantra and his most valued possession. With the advance of health care technology
coupled with the fact that the vast majority of jobs no longer require back-breaking
efforts under the extreme heat in the
sun, 65 has been called the new 45. Today,
actuarial science indicates that
retirees who are relatively healthy at 65 has 50 percent or higher that they
will reach the century mark. It’s God’s
priceless gift to us, to be healthy and alive and still have all the
human senses intact.
6. BOOKS, CULTURE, ARTS, THEATER AND
MOVIES = I could not imagine a world without these
things as they provide beautiful colors
and different flavors to enjoy. They supply all the oxygen to energize our minds and spirit. These things, however, are often more
expensive than just biking or walking along the beach that are equally
enjoyable. They stimulate the mind,
bring us to distant places where we have never been, meet people we have never
met while enriching our lives beyond our expectations.
7. TRAVEL, ADVENTURE & NATURE
= It’s ironical that my Bucket List
has more things to see and places
to visit now, than in the past, in
indirect proportion to the number of years that I have. To resolve this dilemma,
I have learned to put several options in
front of me, and ask my Lord, my God to make it happen the way HE sees fit for
me. It’s less stressful to surrender to
HIM when HE wants me to do it. A
Franciscan priest friend of mine, Fr. Emery Tang OFM (Bless his soul) summed it
beautifully this way: “God will always
gives us the health and a long life for us
to do what He wants us to
accomplish before we join Him in heaven”.
That belief and practice have liberated me from my control-freak personality
that I used to have, which made me enjoy life better.
8. DOING SERVICE FOR OTHERS = Last
Thanksgiving weekend, America and the rest of the world have again
witnessed the CNN Heroes Annual Event and watching it on my TV set, with great admiration for these TEN
exemplary human beings is pure enjoyment
and inspiration. My small contribution
to make this world a better world for my children and their children, like
volunteering as a prison minister in Orange County Jail, being a member of our Parish Pastoral Council,
Eucharistic Ministry and Peace &
Justice Ministry in addition to the many
volunteer hours to Rotary projects locally and internationally are very puny compared to what these CNN
Heroes are doing. Nevertheless doing
these small services-above-self gives
meaning and purpose to my own life. Like
these CNN Heroes, I too believe that one cannot be truly happy if you only
think of yourself and never lift a finger to help others.
9. RETREATS IN NEW PLACES AND NEW RETREAT MASTERS =
“Where your treasure is, is where your heart will be” becomes a guiding star when you become older. After college, our focus
was on your career, money and the
pursuit of happiness often measured in material terms. Once you retired from “work” or
business, it’s no longer necessary to
drive a brand new car or to wear expensive suits, rather, to seek other things, go to places and retreats to enrich your own spirituality. Why? Simply because you
might be able to count your treasure or wealthy but you can never count the
remaining days of your life. This coming year, I will seek and attend a Jesuit led retreat in
a new retreat center to learn more about their world famous “Ignatian Spiritual
Exercises” as I got intrigued and
interested after reading “The Jesuit
Guide to (Almost) Everything” by Fr. James Martin, SJ. As one admirer of Pope Francis, (a Jesuit
priest but also a humble follower of St. Francis of Assisi, the founder of the
Franciscan Order) I am absolutely certain
that I will learn new interesting things
about Ignatius of Loyola. This Jesuit led retreats will augment my knowledge
about the Dominicans (was a graduate of a Dominican run high school and college
(Letran) in Manila) as well as my
acquired knowledge about the Franciscans where I have decades of friendships
with several friars and attended dozens of their retreats in California.
10. PLAIN LEISURE, THE LUXURY OF DOING NOTHING
= Last but not the least, I love and enjoy plain leisure, and just doing nothing. Just in silent retreats, plain conversation with yourself or with Invisible Spirit that you can only hear when you are completely
silent, is one mysterious miracle of
being alive and human. Just as miracles are happening inside your body in
deep sleep, so are miracles also occurring in your being in perfect silence. There is
always a profit earned by doing nothing, which I hope to do this as much as I can the rest of my life….
If you have nothing to do, you can do it anywhere!
Before signing off, I extend
my best wishes to my family, relatives
and friends including my thousands of FaceBook friends around
the world, and all who are
reading this column. I pray to the Lord,
our God and Redeemer whose birthday we celebrate this month, to grant all of us a very Peaceful & Merry Christmas and a Happy Healthy
Prosperous 2015!
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